orchestra of minds

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energy level zero

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I don’t want to keep the peace
when there isn’t any.

I don’t want to smile
when someone says cheese
after I’ve just been told
to shut the fuck up.

I don’t want to build walls
against vicious words
so I can keep letting them
through the front door.

I don’t want to pretend
that everything is fine
when there is coarseness
in the way we love.

I will not stand by
and let the fire burn;
I will fight through breath from
the depth of my lungs until
the fire turns hate into dust.

Mother, please, don’t turn
my heart to stone;
let me melt until I wash over
every fragile bone.

(I feel the weight of the world on
every fingertip and I don’t want
to let it go.)

" - Jamie Oliveira

Paul Delvaux - The Path

Celluloid Void. (2/45) by Lola Lovett on Flickr.
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You were in my dream last night
for the first time in a while.

We held each other,
sharing love and
warm kisses under
ethereal fog.

We walked on
as you shared achy sentiments;
piece by piece you began
dissolving in my arms.

I remember an eternal unknown,
running through the train, calling
your name and
searching for you.

And then I awoke,
sun in my eyes and
mind back in my head,
going through the motions
of my return back home.

Now here I am on the train,
staring out the window, thinking of
your name and
searching for you.

" - Shinkansen // Jamie Oliveira

Rei Kawakubo & Yohji Yamamoto
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One must learn to be concentrated in everything one does; in listening to music, in reading a book, in talking to a person, in seeing a view. The activity at this very moment must be the only thing that matters, to which one is fully given. If one is concentrated, it matters little what one is doing; the important, as well as the unimportant things assume a new dimension of reality, because they have one’s full attention. To learn concentration requires avoiding, as far as possible, trivial conversation, that is, conversation which is not genuine. If two people talk about the growth of a tree they both know, or about the taste of the bread they have just eaten together, or about a common experience in their job, such conversation can be relevant, provided they experience what they are talking about, and do not deal with it in an abstractified way; on the other hand, a conversation can deal with matters of politics or religion and yet be trivial; this happens when the two people talk in clichés, when their hearts are not in what they are saying. I should add here that just as it is important to avoid trivial conversation, it is important to avoid bad company. By bad company I do not refer only to people who are vicious and destructive; one should avoid their company because their orbit is poisonous and depressing. I mean also the company of zombies, of people whose soul is dead, although their body is alive; of people whose thoughts and conversation are trivial; who chatter instead of talk, and who assert cliché opinions instead of thinking. However, it is not always possible to avoid the company of such people, nor even necessary. If one does not react and the expected way — that is, in clichés and trivialities — but directly and humanly, one will often find that such people change their behavior, often helped by the surprise effected by the shock of the unexpected.

To be concentrated in relation to others means primarily to be able to listen. Most people listen to others, or even give advice, without really listening. They do not take the other person’s talk seriously, they do not take their own answers seriously either. As a result, the talk makes them tired. They are under the illusion that they would be even more tired if they listened with concentration. But the opposite is true. Any activity, if done in a concentrated fashion, makes one more awake (although afterward natural and beneficial tiredness sets in), while every unconcentrated activity makes one sleepy — while at the same time it makes it difficult to fall asleep at the end of the day.

To be concentrated means to live fully in the present, in the here and now, and not to think of the next thing to be done, while I am doing something right now.

" - Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

Jean-Michel Basquiat - Formless (1983)
Aunt Keiko & Nanasan

Looking out the window on my last night in Japan as the train passes through Tokyo, wanting neither to return home nor to remain here.

"Mono no aware (物の哀れ), literally "the pathos of things", and also translated as "an empathy toward things", or "a sensitivity to ephemera," is a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence (無常 mujō), or transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness (or wistfulness) at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life."

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"One might think that nothing is easier to learn for modern man than discipline. Does he not spend eight hours a day in a most disciplined way at a job which is strictly routinized? The fact, however, is that modern man has exceedingly little self-discipline outside of the sphere of work. When he does not work, he wants to be lazy, to slouch or, to use a nicer word, to “relax.” This very wish for laziness is largely a reaction against the routinization of life. Just because man is forced for eight hours a day to spend his energy for purposes not his own, in ways not his own, but prescribed for him by the rhythm of the work, he rebels and his rebelliousness takes the form of an infantile self-indulgence. In addition, in the battle against authoritarianism he has become distrustful of all discipline, of that enforced by irrational authority, as well as of rational discipline imposed by himself. Without such discipline, however, life becomes shattered, chaotic, and lacks in concentration." - Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
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